Defeating Bullying Takes Education And Civil Reform, Among Other Things.

People say to stand up to and defend yourself against bullies and they'll leave you alone. This is partially true but it's also partially wrong and can have serious repercussions. Bullies select people who appear weaker or inferior to them. A 14 year old that is 5'6" 160 pounds is likely to bully a kid around 5'0" 100 pounds. Why, because they're bigger and should have the advantage.

Now it's possible that the smaller kid can take on the bully but odds are if the smaller kid gets physical, the size and strength of the bully is going to hurt the kid. The bully is going to know they have dominance over the kid and the bully will forever in modern terms make his victim his "bitch."

In World War II Germany was a bully. They took on all these smaller victims and beat the holy hell out of them. Now I know Germany is a country but it still proves a point. It took three bigger bullies to get Germany to back down.

The other thing with bullies is they don't always operate alone. Many bullies have clicks, goons, or friends. Right now there is a country in the middle east causing a bunch of human rights violations but they have a friend in the west that keeps people from interfering. That happens in schools and neighborhoods as well, and it needs to be taken into account when dealing with the problem and coming up with a solution.

So now you're thinking that people should just take it, and that's not what I'm saying. You say not your kid because you taught them to fight? That's an issue. I have no problem with teaching children and people to DEFEND themselves because it teaches confidence.

Teaching a someone to fight promotes cockiness and egotism. It promotes superiority complexes and that's something every bully has. It lacks discipline and leads to bullies. As where defense teaches people not just to use their body but their mind. That's why martial arts teachers will tell their students that it's about defense and will kick students out for misuse of their teachings.

A lot of people only focus on teaching one of the two. Sure a child or person can run to an authority figure but not every bully follows the authority's speech once they're out of sight. Look at how many people violate restraining orders. And we all know if someone's dead set on throwing fists, talking isn't always going to stop them because they made up their mind and moved past reason.

People need to teach both mental and physical defense. Adults and people with authority also need to adapt and change how they approach the situation. For some, just showing or giving a warning is enough. For others, they need to learn how to get through to them and sometimes punish them.

It takes a lot of courage for victims to speak up. We live in a society built on violence. Where people are told to "man up," "grow some balls," "defend yourself." Where victims are thought of as weak or cowards, especially after they come forward. Society has a bad habit of turning that courage into a weakness and that must change.

Now some people are afraid to fight, they're afraid to get hurt. Some people are afraid of the consequences of hurting another in defending themselves, especially if they hurt their attacker. Some people have been beat mentally and physically to the point they cannot stand up and defend themselves. Battered spouce syndrome is just one example.

Mental illness a serious problem in the world today. Bullies are not right in the head. People with low confidence, anxiety, or victim mentality are not right in the head. A person who is abused will carry that their entire life, and bullying is abuse.

Education and civil reform are the only ways to confront this problem. There are movements to take on this problem but there are people who are pushing back. They don't want to change. It's hard to teach barbarians to use their brains instead of their fists, and vise versa with teaching intellectuals that it on occasion takes physicality to solve a problem.

Violence should always be the last answer but each situation is different. Some situations progress or have progressed to different levels. We cannot always start at stage one if the problem has already reached stage five. Thus every situation must be analyzed and dealt with accordingly. More psychological training is needed in teaching how to evaluate and handle the problem.

Parents especially expecting parents, teachers, and law enforcement officials should all seek and receive better education to handle the problem but they don't and there's not enough resources for people who want to, to do so. We need to change that in communities. We need community leaders, churches, and local level governments to step up and find ways to bring these recommendations to the neighborhoods.

This is just a thought. Use it as you will.